Monday, May 04, 2009

Remedies: Quotes from Prof. Ottley

Well, since it's my last semester, I went easy on substantive classes. I just had a writing seminar, a drafting class, and remedies - a course on the different remedies that a plaintiff can get in a lawsuit.

Therefore, I only have one exam to outline for, and only one set of quotes. However, they are a good set, as you will see. Prof. Ottley always makes us laugh, that's for sure:

"How much money would you get if I beat you over the head with your remedis book for five minutes? I'd enjoy doing that, but I'm sure you want some compensation for it."

"The son sued his father for making him an adulterin' bastard."

"Look, they're expensive little things, but they'll grow on you."

"Our church has got cracks in its foundation! A lot of churches do, that's not the point."

"Even one gigabyte is more than I'll ever think."

"That's what I said, homie!" - Tracey
"...What?" - Ottley

"These theaters were sort of seedy. If they weren't showing porn films, they were showing kung fu movies."

"The old adage of common law was, if you run over someone, back up."

"Now, why is an orgy worth $40 million and a couple of prayers worth a couple hundred dollars?"

"I don't think that anyone discovered any moving eyeballs in this case."

"Does this kid have any damages? He's probably high as a kite at home watching Oprah!"

"Having been on this law school's admissions council for twenty years, I can tell you that if we excluded people with convictions for possession of marijuana, we'd have nobody."

"He got three meals a day, it wasn't hard labor; combine that with hating your wife and jail is a pretty good deal."

"The word must have gotten out to all the animals, and I'm sure they must have cell phones."

"That's an opening big enough to drive a truck full of carrots through."

"If you get rid of Borders and Victoria's Secret, what's left?"

"You can't get blood out of an indigent...I mean money. You can still get blood."

"She wasn't just unhinged, she was off the door."

On white supremacist rallies: "Go get your robes washed: same time, same place tomorrow night!"

On white supremacist groups: "I'm sure they're not listed in the phone book."

"You guys are quieter than an automobile showroom."

"The jury heard that R. Kelly was in the house."

"You don't get thirteen years for stealing $2.4 million! Think about that...'

"Good luck on the exam. For those of you who are graduating, even gooder luck."

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