Friday, May 05, 2006

Springtime in a blue state

Here's a moment in springtime captured outside my apartment! I love watching the flowering trees get into full bloom.

Went shopping with Andy last night — fun times, more on that at a later date. Tomorrow we're heading to South Carolina for Dave's cousin's wedding — good stuff!

I would like to devote this post to bringing attention to Stephen Colbert's fantastic roast of our president at the White House Correspondent's Annual Dinner recently. See a transcript & videos of the performance here and here.

And here are some worthy exerpts:

On privacy: "By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail."

On ignorance:
"That's where the truth lies, right down there in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than in your head? You can look it up. Now, I know some of you are going to say, 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works."

On statism: "I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

On popularity: "Now, I know there are some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' ... Sir, pay no attention to the people to say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."

On PR: "I stand by this man. I stand by this man, because he stands for things. Not only FOR things, he stands ON things, like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world."

On history: "I'm sorry, I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them. They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist, telling us what is or isn't true or what did or didn't happen. Who's Brittanica to tell me the Panama Canal was build in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American! I'm with the President. Let history decide what did or did not happen."

On muck-raking: "Over the last five years [news reporters] were so good, over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew."

On staffing: "So, the White House has personnel changes. And then you write, 'Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.' First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring! If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"

On Jesse Jackson: "You can ask [Jesse Jackson] anything, but he's going to say what he wants at the pace he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

So, thank you, Stephen Colbert — you certainly said it better than I could. No matter what conservative pundits may say about your speech, it made me smile to think of the faces in the room when you said these things. Bravo.

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