Food tour of black-owned restaurants

On my list of New Year's resolutions was to eat at one of each of the restaurants on this list, a Chicago Tribune run-down of some of the most icon black-owned restaurants in the city.

The great thing about this list is that it helps us support local businesses owned by Black folks and encourage ourselves to explore new areas of the city. The downside is that none are very vegan for yours truly - oh well. I chose to indulge in the spirit of exploring my world!

Uncle Remus Saucy Fried Chicken, 47th Street (March 2, 2020)

Dave and I took the Green Line down from the South Loop on a random Monday to go get some fried chicken at our nearest Uncle Remus location (Bronzeville). The Monday special was a whole fried chicken with sauce and one side, so we got that with a side of fried okra.

The chicken was crispy and delicious, and so was the okra with its nice corn meal breading (although some of the okra pieces were small and a little more breading than veggie). I had figured the "mild sauce" would be similar to hot sauce, but it was a sweet, clear-ish sauce similar to sweet & sour. Very nice to dip both the okra and chicken in.

I had made some vegan banana pudding the night before, so we came home and at least ate a relatively healthy dessert. Not a bad idea to indulge in fried chicken once or twice a year.

Old Fashioned Donuts, South Michigan Avenue (April 25, 2020)

Since we visited Uncle Remus, the pandemic happened and restaurants began closing or only offering take-out. We thought this was a good time to visit Old Fashioned Donuts to support a small business and get some tasty breakfast.

The donuts were completely delicious - the fried dough was perfectly fluffy but substantial, and the icings were very tasty. We shared one caramel and one strawberry, and the caramel was my favorite - it was like perfect dulce de leche. I look forward to returning.

P.S. We came back here several times. One of my favorites.

Harold's Chicken, South Wabash Avenue (August 27, 2020)

A few weeks prior to this visit, we tried to visit one of the Harold's spots owned by the original chain creators, but it was closed! We heard about another Harold's location closing on 87th and decided to just visit the one right near us in the South Loop. They have also been looted this year, so we wanted to give them some business.

Dave got a fried chicken breast and two legs (I had a chunk of the breast) and we split the fried okra, greens, and jalapeño poppers. All of it was excellent, seemed like a cornbread batter that was not overwhelming. Okra were in huge recognizable chunks - sorry, Uncle Remus, they were better at Harold's.

Lem's Bar-B-Cue, East 75th Street (August 29, 2020)

Dave got the rib tips and hot links meal, which came with lots of fries and white bread to mop it up. Spicy and delicious; the smoked hot link was one of the best I've ever had. 

We hit it at the same time as Original Soul Vegetarian (see below), which is about a block away.

Taurus Flavors, Stony Island (September 1, 2020

This one is closed for the year, possibly forever. Tried to visit it when we went to Plant-Based Junkie, but it was extremely closed. Will try again in future years!

I also wanted to add that in the midst of eating my way through the first list, racial justice activism started to go into high gear in our country, and Chicago was no exception. One thing I know I can do is support local black-owned businesses, especially on the south and west sides. I found this list of Black-owned vegan restaurants, and here's a quick run-down:

• Majani (South Shore): visited September 2020; absolutely delightful fried cauliflower and tofu tacos.
• Can't Believe It's Not Meat (Hyde Park): visited July 2020; very tasty. 
• Original Soul Vegetarian (Grand Crossing): visited August 2020, has a juice / smoothie bar, hot bar, salad bar, and a selection of entrees, appetizers, and desserts to order. Really tasty and varied.
• Demera (Uptown): visited August 2020; lots of vegetarian & vegan options, makes me want to do more Ethiopian outings.
• Ras Dashen (Edgewater): visited September 2020; I think we seriously ordered one of every vegetarian main dish and side. Absolutely fantastic. The okra was really special.
• The Cultured Vegan (online): enjoyed some fantastic burgers, picked up from The Plant (an outdoor vegan market) in September 2020.
• B'Gabs Goodies (Hyde Park): picked up some juices and split a chocolate-banana-date smoothie in September 2020; lunch and breakfast options also looked solid.
• Libby's Corner (online): ran into them at The Plant vegan outdoor market in September 2020, bought a delightful peach cobbler.
• Soul Vegan (McKinley Park): found this at Whole Foods South Loop in October 2020; very nice jerk tofu wrap.
• Ethiopian Diamond (Edgewater): visited October 2020, enjoyed some delicious sambusas on a walk.
• Plant-Based Junkie (Calumet Heights): visited September 2020; amazing veggie-based burgers, super melty cheese, wonderfully cooked veggies. I got the Hot Mess, Dave got the Junk. Delightful.
• Conscious Plates (Bronzeville): visited August 2020, SO GOOD. The raspberry soursop smoothie is not joking around, and neither are the avocado fries or pretty much anything else on the menu. Look for them in the Boxville pop-up of businesses in shipping containers!

I have obviously had a blast and a half exploring these food lists. I recommend a visit to any of the restaurants and food purveyors.

Chicago Skyline chart & yarn bomb

As I have been yarn bombing Chicago, I got the idea to yarn bomb Chicago. How meta.

It has been a while since I busted out an Excel chart, but I checked out some photos of the Chicago skyline and approximated one. It starts with the Hilton, over to 331 S. Wacker (the "diamond ring" or wedding cake building), the Sears Tower, the CNA building, Smurfit Stone building, the Prudential complex, the Aon Center (formerly Amoco building), and the John Hancock building. Not totally true to where things are in real life, but some of my favorites.

Sweet Home Chicago!

If you want to make your own, either as a wall hanging, scarf, yarn bomb, or whatever, I suggest working on the short edge. If you're knitting, you'll cast on 33 stitches. If you're crocheting. you'll chain 34 and start single crocheting across in the second stitch and in each stitch across.

Installing

I also added about 5 rows of white on each end of it so that it could be attached to the fence posts, and I attached the top with whip stitching. If you are yarn bombing, add whatever flaps you need to properly attach this finished piece.

Sweet home Chicago!

Pre-holiday projects + 1000th post!

Pumpkin Lights display at Navy Pier

We're solidly into October, chilly, fall weather in Chicago now, which might mean some people start to cozy up with their knitting. (Other weirdos like me are pretty much knitting all year.)

I'm still working through that big skein of variegated Christmas cotton yarn, which means that the holidays have come a bit early this year in our house. I picked a couple of patterns from "200 Ripple Stitches," which alternates between knitted and crocheted zig zag patterns. So rare to find a book that includes both types of patterns!

Here are two I picked, and I still have extra yarn for a couple of crocheted ones, probably from the same book.

Fiesta

Hydrangea

In a different holiday mode, but still a winter holiday, I received a custom order request on Etsy for a crocheted menorah for Hanukkah. I have made a few before, and they are a complicated pain in the butt, but I can handle one every few years.

The important thing to remember is that it looks like a facehugger before you've put it together.

Facehugger stage of menorah

Only later does it come together as a pretty menorah:

Completed menorah, with removable candles!

You make the shaft of the menorah, then the arms, then the top bar, candle cups, and candles. I fill the shaft with a paper towel tube, glass beads for weight, and fluff. The candles are made individually and can be removed. I gather that many families prefer non-fire menorahs for households with small children (fire and small children don't mix!).

Maybe I will take a break from the holiday patterns to just enjoy fall for a while.

So this is my 1,000th post, and I kind of can't believe I've been doing this blog for 13 years. Mostly it's crochet and travel at this point, but I hope that people enjoy the patterns I've written and used. 

Hot Chocolate 15K

This weekend I did the Hot Chocolate 15K with about 11,000 of my closest friends. Man, it was crowded. Here are some thoughts.

Packet Pickup

The packet pickup at McCormick was a bit of a shit show. Getting the packet was easy once you got there, but it's always challenging to find where to park over there, and parking was $10 no matter how long you stayed. This is in contrast to the Shamrock Shuffle pickup in 2016, which was free for a short park. Boo!!

This is also the point at which I started to think that the people who do this race as a 5k are out of their minds. Way too much work for packet pickup for a race of that length.

Race

This was my first race where I deliberately tried to follow a pacer to stay on track. In my case, 10:30 was a bit of an aspiration for 9 miles, but I thought I'd try to follow her as long as I could. This helps me because I have trouble keeping myself on a challenging pace unless I'm on a treadmill.

I was able to hold with the pace group until about mile 5, at which point I let them get a bit ahead of me. After mile 6, I lost them entirely. But the good pace in the first half meant that the overall pace ended up being pretty great for me. Woo hoo for my first 15k!

Post-Race Party

This is probably the biggest draw for this race - and probably the reason that women outnumber men so vastly on this course. You get a cup of hot chocolate, some liquid chocolate fondue, and some dipping items (pretzels, marshmallows, rice krispie treats, banana, etc.). It's a popular race, so I thought, let's try it. 

OH MY GOD. What a mob. In following the crowd toward the post-race party, I felt like I was in a zombie horde. Plus, why was it so far between the finish line and the post-race party? I can only assume that they are trying to pull the masses away from the finish line so that the crowd doesn't back up. Still, the Shamrock Shuffle has as many people and they are able to get their beers in Buckingham Fountain and get the hell out of there.

Another thing: the 5k people completely overwhelmed the post-race area, which was a muddy crowded mess. I could barely find my coworkers, one of whom had spilled hot chocolate all over herself after being bumped by someone. Dave had completely abandoned the idea of trying to meet up in the runner reunite area, instead hiding out in the relatively open area of Buckingham fountain. 

I'm not saying a 5k is not a big deal - I don't want to become a running snob that looks down on 5ks. But good lord. This race is full of people who aren't normally in the other well-run, higher distance races in Chicago, so I think they don't really know what to do.

Final Thoughts

I have spent a lot of time in this post comparing the Shamrock Shuffle and the Hot Chocolate races. I think the comparison is justified because the Shamrock Shuffle seems to be the "opener" of the Chicago running season, and the Hot Chocolate is becoming the "ender." Plus, about the same number of runners participate in each race. 

I think the trouble with Hot Chocolate is that it blends two worlds - the more serious runners and the not-very-serious runners. With a more serious race, you can offer great swag and the experience is not too diluted by crowds, walkers, etc. 

Leukemia walk: 10 years later

Ten years ago, I started participating in the Light the Night Walk to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. 

I tried to find a blog post from that time, but I remembered that although I fundraised in 2006, I wasn't able to actually walk that year because I got the flu. However, I did find this: a post from when my dad's leukemia relapsed. 

Two things stick out to me about that entry. First, I love Dad's quote about chemo: "I feel like someone's poisoning me on purpose!" (Yes, Dad, you continue to make me laugh beyond the grave.) 

Second, you'll notice that I posted Dad's address so people could write to him. One of the first things that really got to me after Dad died was that I couldn't call the hospital room anymore, I couldn't send letters. He wasn't there.

Losing a deeply loved person - a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend - is more than just their death, but it is also your own. It is the death of the life you thought you would have. It is the death of a belief that everything will work out fine if you just eat your vegetables and do the right thing. It is the death of god.

In the wise, recent words of Sheryl Sandberg after she lost her husband: "Those who have said, 'You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good' comfort me more because they know and speak the truth."

In time, though, you do find a new normal, and you find gratitude and a new kind of happiness. I am extraordinarily lucky to have friends and family who remind me how to laugh.

So this weekend, I was thrilled to be walking and fundraising with supportive friends that have really been there for me in the three years since I lost Dad. And we raised a lot of money.

This little powerhouse of four ladies (plus Dave, who was not at the walk this year) raised almost $4,000 to fight leukemia and support blood cancer patients. And I was thrilled to discover that since I began walking in 2006, my team and I have raised almost $20,000. That is a staggering sum raised from some very generous individuals throughout the years.

Going to the walk is also good for me because it reminds me that others have lost what I have lost, and we are all trying to find a cure in honor of absent loved ones. It is a beautiful night, and a beautiful thing.

Mostly I try to keep this blog a happy place and to post lots of yarn stuff. My life updates tend to be migrated into Facebook, or increasingly to be shared personally with only a few. However, I wanted to mark this occasion, partly to preserve my future memory of just how awesome we are and partly to spew out some of the thoughts I've been having in light of my family's longstanding battle with leukemia.

The Light the Night Walk reminds me that even though something can happen that is devastating, life-changing, and horrific, we can keep a light on against the darkness.

Here's to next year.

Do it for Dad week

As longtime readers of this blog are aware, my dad passed away from leukemia complications in 2012. Mother's and Father's Day are a blessing and a curse for people who have lost a parent. On the one hand, you see everyone is getting to spend time with their parents, which you want to do desperately but can't. On the other, just like anyone else, you can take some time to appreciate the parent that you had, even if they are not here to celebrate with you anymore.

In that vein, I thought this week I would mindfully take time to do things that would make him proud. I called it Do it for Dad week, and here's the run-down of my schedule:

Monday, June 15: 

Enjoyed beer and food at a friend's place. Lots of good conversation and laughs.

Tuesday, June 16: 

I took myself on a date to the Baha'i Temple in Wilmette, which is just north of where I work in Evanston.

I have seen the temple before, but I have never taken a walk on the grounds, nor have I been inside. Dad was really into cool architecture and would have liked this place. (He drove all over Chicagoland for work, so I'm sure he's seen it before, although I never asked.)

Being in the temple really made me want to get more serious about my meditation practice. It was a very cool afternoon.  

Wednesday, June 17: 

On Wednesday I got to do something that I knew Dad would be proud of: watching softball, drinking Miller High Life, and grilling MEAT.

I had been thinking that one thing Dad would be really happy for me to do would be to grill some meat, but without a grill set-up at my house, I wasn't sure how I was going to check this off of my list. This opportunity was presented at my home brew buddies' softball game, where I served as grillmaster while they finished their game. It was glorious, and the High Life was not too utterly terrible.

Thursday, June 18: 

On this day, I finished the turtle cozy that I posted about in my last entry. Dad would be proud I was doing something weird, and something creative, and something for an animal. 

Friday, June 19: 

This was my first home brew competition! I was just starting to get Dad into craft beer and my home brewed beer when he passed away, so I think he would appreciate how far down the rabbit hole I've gone.

I didn't win the competition, but I had a great time pouring my beer and getting feedback from the general public. 

Saturday, June 20:  

I continued my streak of listening to Dad's favorite music with Jethro Tull, They Might be Giants, and others. I also got my car fixed, which is something I've been putting off but which Dad would have told me to get done.

Sunday, June 21 (Father's Day):

I ran my first 5K since April, and I beat my old time! I finished this race in 32 minutes and 41 seconds.

Sure, Dad was not a runner, but he would be happy I am trying to keep fit and that I am improving my running skills. Also, this run was in a forest preserve, and he loved hiking and spending time in green spaces, so I know he would have been proud.

One thing I didn't get to during Do it for Dad week is to put air in my bike tires and go for a ride. He was big on bike riding and I wish I had gotten it together to do it on Saturday before it started raining. I'm going to try to do it this week so that I am ready to ride periodically this summer.

I think I am definitely going to make Do it for Dad week an annual thing. I know I do stuff that he loved all the time, but it is nice to be deliberate about this kind of tribute.

Top 14 of 2014

2014 was a fickle year. There were some definite highs, but the year was characterized by the loneliness of being an extrovert living without my spouse of almost a decade. He's still in D.C. with no end in sight, so the end of this year approaching has been kind of a bummer for me. 

In order to be more positive and not become Eeyore the depressive donkey, I came up with 14 awesome things that happened in 2014. There were a lot of other awesome things that happened - for example, weddings, babies, etc. - but I didn't want this to be a list of awesome things that happened to my friends. I wanted it to be a list of things I can be proud that I myself did.

14. Organizing an outing to the morbidly hilarious mini golf course at Ahlgrim Funeral Home in Palatine

13. Making a list of Neapolitan pizzerias in Chicago and visiting them in September with friends

12. Dressing in my junior Girl Scout uniform on Halloween - still fits!

11. Finishing more than 30 crochet and knitting projects this calendar year

10. Surviving the polar vortex alone in January for three days, during which time I did not leave my house and watched the entirety of Star Wars and Indiana Jones, including all special features

9. Making cakes for two of my friends' children's first birthdays. Watching them smash it into their faces was so cute.

8. First and last visit to Hot Doug's in June - so delicious.

7. Finding out that my first professional article in years will be published!

6. Getting flights of beers at awesome northeast locations, including Maine Beer Co., Heady Topper, etc.

5. Seeing Fallingwater (and other awesome FLW locations this year)

4. Being at the wedding of my oldest friend, and especially being the emergency cake cutter with my buddy Diane, the best wedding date ever.

3. Joining a home brew club - it helped me along in this hobby and has introduced me to some great drinking buddies in my area.

2. Raising over $4,000 in the Light the Night Walk with my team of lovely ladies. This makes for over $14,000 raised by my team since I started walking. Amazing and makes me feel really good.

1. My promotion in July at Northwestern, and realizing that this is the area of work I want to stay in for my career.

Being thankful

I know I have been terrible about posting recently, but I wanted to make sure I got in a note before the end of November.

It has been a rough year for me, and sometimes it's hard to remember what to be thankful for. I read the Dalai Lama's "Art of Happiness" earlier this year, which reminded me that you will be happier if you keep in mind the good things about your life and choose to focus on the bright side. So here it goes.

I am thankful for Indian food. For chocolate. For my bunny. For lifting weights. For yarn. For having been raised by good parents and having 30 years with both of them. For having known love.

And most of all, I am thankful for all the people who have made me laugh in the past few years. You probably had no idea how much I needed it.

Thank you. See you in December!

This...is Marketplace!!

I got to attend a live show by the Marketplace news folks tonight, called "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Numbers." If you are an NPR listener, you have probably heard Marketplace before. The prime newsman and editor of the program, Kai Ryssdal, is probably my favorite NPR personality.

You know, except for Frank DeFord.

This program looked deeper into some of the numbers that Marketplace uses to address current economic and financial conditions, including GDP (and how countries can put anything into it that they want), adjusted inflation (and how poor Americans are earning less than we used to), and lots of other info.

We also got to see a photo of Kai from middle school (at right, obviously):

Some choice quotes from the program: 

• Comparing the DOW industrial average to Velveeta: "it's spread around on everything, but no one knows what's in it"
• Kai likes to have guests on the show who generally "have their shit together," inter alia
• "THIS doesn't just HAPPEN!" - Kai on why he runs "a lot"
• Journalists inserting their own opinions into stories is "professional treason," according to Kai - a sentiment I agree with.

I even got a picture with Kai at the end!! And I learned that he likes peanut M&Ms, in addition to IPAs (which he mentioned in a previous program). A man of good taste.

What I loved most about this program is what I love about NPR generally: you are not told what to think but instead encouraged to question and think critically for yourself.

I read an article in the Chicago Tribune this morning on Americans becoming more polarized about opinions, particularly by reading only biased news sources and by keeping a circle of friends who generally agrees with ourselves.

Please do not be that person. Reach out and learn about the world. Talk with people you can learn new things from. Learn about the gray. And always question the numbers (or at least where they come from). 

First and last Hot Doug venture

Well, today was our first (and probably last) time at Hot Doug's in Chicago. I have never been there because I usually refuse to wait that long for food, but I figure if it is closing in October, I should probably just go for it. I waited until Dave was in town and we took a day off together to go down to wait in line right when it opened.

We split four orders: 

• "The Dog" (a simple Chicago-style hot dog)
• Smoked yak sausage with bacon-garlic mayonnaise and smoked gouda cheese
• Roman luganega sausage with pesto aioli, fresh mozzarella, and slow-roasted tomatoes
• Fois gras and sauternes duck sausage with truffle aioli, fois gras mousse, and fleur de sel  

Can I just say that I am sorry that I doubted that these sandwiches were worth an hour's wait in line? IT WAS AMAZING. The luganega sausage was my favorite, followed closely by "The Dog" and the yak sausage. Dave's favorite, adorably, was "The Dog." I guess don't mess with a classic. 

Dave and I liked the duck sausage but found the fois too rich. (Still really good, though, and I let Dave eat most of the fois gras.) We got the duck fat fries, which I probably would not get again. I could have gotten another sandwich and been happier.

I am proud to have made owner and cash register operator Doug Sohn laugh, although I am sure I am not the first person to have made this joke. Under his cash register is a glass case full of all manner of hot dog toys, some of which are crocheted. I told him I liked the yarn hot dogs and that he must get a lot of hog dog crap. He nodded emphatically, pointing at the case as evidence. I said, "well, they are EN-CASED meats, am I right??" 

Maybe I will go back, although I doubt I will find the time to take off another day and go before October. So good, though. 

After that rich meal, Dave and I went for a hike in the Skokie Lagoon area, another one of my 60 Hikes. It was good to get those four miles in after eating so much, and it was a beautiful day out. I already dropped him off at the airport, and he has landed in D.C. safely.

It is worth noting that today is my dad's 60th birthday. It's weird to think of him being 60. Somehow in my mind, he is always a robust 36, with tan skin and long blond locks. I know he would probably not have approved of waiting in line for an hour and fifteen minutes for a few hot dogs, but he would have heartily approved of the delicious meal we ate and the wonderful time we spent outdoors today.

His favorite band, The Who, was known for their lyrics, "Hope I die before I get old." It is an oft-quoted saying that is frequently and ironically applied to a group of stars who did in fact die long before they got old. The blessing and the curse of such a fate is that to those who love him and remain here, Dad will always be young in our minds. Miss you.

How It's Made

I have been exploring my Netflix subscription lately, and I noticed that "How It's Made" is on there. Pretty cool! I have always liked that type of stuff ever since crayons and peanut butter with Mr. Rogers, and I used to watch them all the time with my dad.

As soon as I hit the play button and heard the beginning music, I almost lost it, though. If I had closed my eyes, I could picture sitting in my family room with my dad watching the TV. The episode I watched had Native American ceremonial drums and raisins. Who knew that dried fruit could be so laden with emotion?

Poetry o' hops

Today Slate posted an article on how the craft beer movement needs to calm down on the hops, already.  One line from the article said that hops enthusiasts "wax poetic" about the bitter little blooms, so I challenged some beer-loving friends to a poetry slam over e-mail.  Here's what we came up with.

Tom's iambic pentameter verse:

When I do taste a hops that rapes my face,

The flow of tears: one bitter, one joyful.

My haiku:

I inhale the scent

Of freshly cut juniper, 

Then taste: NO NO NO

My limerick:

Dave and I brew beer,

Yet hops I still do fear.

   They hurt my palate,

   But Dave writes ballads

And keeps a 90-minute near.

[Reference: Dogfish Head 90-minute IPA]

Tom's limerick:

I once drank a beer from Aurora,

Jam-packed with indigenous flora.

   More drinks I demanded

   Of sweet Heavy Handed,

Until carried home by Laura.

[Reference: Two Brothers Heavy Handed]

Dave's SONNET:


I wish I could but speak to him, myself
At one-and-twenty: "Listen not to lies
Of 'triple-hops' that sit upon that shelf:
Subsist no longer on water and rice!

Take this instead: a pale ale, more or less -
No ‘smoothness’ here, no ‘drinkability’ -
But what is sweetness without bitterness?
Or craft without thought; complexity?

But sip them slow, these citrus notes of spring,
Proud songs of green grasses and summer sun.
For these!  Not delicate nor forgiving,
Assault the palate; numb the novice tongue."

Much else we'd say as we two quenched our thirst,
But that would wait, for love for hops comes first.

One year later

Today it is exactly one year since my dad passed away from leukemia complications.  I don't want to mark this day with any platitudes, but I would like to share something I have thought about a few times in the last year.  And I think it is suitably geeky for Dad.

Readers may or may not be familiar with the many-worlds hypothesis.  It is an interpretation of quantum mechanics that hypothesizes that every possible outcome of our world has actually happened in an alternate universe.  Every choice we make, every "chance" occurrence, creates a divergent new world.  

You can picture this like branches on a tree - you choose a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch today, but in a divergent world, maybe you choose ham and cheese.  The worlds branch off and continue to branch off forever, exploring all possible outcomes of chance.

As far as I understand physics (which is not much), I don't know whether it is or will ever be possible to know whether this many-worlds hypothesis (or any multiverse hypothesis) is true.  But if it is, it creates some interesting food for thought.

For example, every time I narrowly avoid a car accident, another Val does not avoid that accident.  Maybe she walks away, maybe she doesn't.  There would be real worlds in which I was never born, or I died when I was young, or died yesterday - and if you pull all of these universes together and compare them day by day, each day there are fewer and fewer Vals.  When you think about it that way, you get to thinking that maybe we live in the best of possible universes, because at least those of us who are having this discussion are still here.

But on the flip side, think of what we are missing in this world that would still exist in others.  In one branch, JFK is not shot.  In another, maybe Lenin never makes it back to Russia and the Communist Revolution never happens, saving millions of lives.  (You can see how this line of thinking makes authors of historical fiction AND science fiction drool...)

And in still other branches of less global significance, my dad is still alive.

I enjoy thinking that some other Val is getting to spend time with him and watch him retire and grow old.   I enjoy thinking that in another world, all of his as-yet-unplanned metal sculpture creations have become a reality.  These other Dads would get to do all the things we will miss doing with him in this world.  This actually comforts me far more than any notions of an afterlife, which are similarly unknowable but somehow more mystical.  

If you lay all of the universes on top of each other in a Subtle Knife kind of way, maybe you are passing by your loved ones as you walk down the "same" street.  When you enter your childhood home, maybe your family is still there in some other universe, and you can feel the warmth and happiness drifting through between the layers.

And maybe, if you tried hard enough, you could hear the sound of their laughter.

The Belly Laugh Awards 2012

I have said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again in the coming two weeks: this year has included quite a load of shit.  However, it's also had some good times, too, with friends, family, and new coworkers.  Instead of focusing on the negative, I have decided to think about the greatest asset I have:  laughter.  (Yes, I guess love is fine and dandy, but this year has taught me that there is truly nothing more important to me than laughter.)  

(Okay, maybe spicy food.) 

(Just kidding.)

So I have decided to inaugurate the first annual Belly Laugh Awards:  wonderful people and things in my life that have made me laugh out loud and feel fantastic, over and over again.  Here they are...

Funniest joke that wasn't a joke:  I taught a crochet class to two pre-teen sisters this year, and here is a conversation we had:

Girl: "Miss Valerie, are you married?"
Me: "Yes."
Girl: "Oh, you don't look like you're married."
Me: "Why do you say that?"
Girl: "You're all smiley.  I saw my aunt last summer, and she was all smiley.  Then she got married, and I saw her this summer, and she wasn't smiling anymore."

Seriously, I laughed out loud, reposted that conversation on Facebook, and it got about 60 likes.  Amazing.

Funniest Halloween outfit:  This or this.

Funniest animal:  For my money, it's my rabbit.  He's nuts.  He gets so excited about lettuce that he becomes a trip hazard and also runs into walls.  He looks through the staircase banisters at us dolefully with his ears sticking up like a bat.  He runs down stairs with a full carrot in his mouth like a dog with a stick.  He takes his apple slices over to a corner so he can be alone while he devours them.  He jumps three feet into the air to sit on top of his cage, only to not be able to get down again.  He hides in his hay box so we can't find him, then we see his bat-antenna ears poking up out of the cardboard.  He is simply a very weird little furball.

Funniest sight out-of-state:  The Minnesota Renaissance Festival "she-beast."  It was worth seeing this monster in a leather bikini just to exchange looks with Burt.

Funniest use of a swear word:  This is also a tie between pretty much every great joke in the movie "Lincoln," and something my scuba diving instructor said to our group.  It was 50 degrees, we were diving into a manmade lake in Kankakee in October, and he was giving us a pep talk.  It went something like this:

"Oh, there are no kids here, are there?  All right, let's go, you crazy f*cks!!"

Funniest new blog:  Dog Shaming.  I need to shame my bunny for eating pretty much every candle or piece of chocolate within his tiny grasp.

Funniest science-obsessed Facebook posts:  Jamie V.  Seriously, I don't need to follow any of the science groups on Facebook, Jamie gives me a feed of the best of them all.

Funniest Facebook one-liners:  My buddy Pete B.  Two crochet-related puns earned him this honor:  stating that my jail ladies make "shank cozies" and suggesting that I crochet a "Pol Pot-holder."

Funniest baby:  I was going to solidly pick my friends Ed and Amanda's baby Eddie, because he is so friendly and outgoing that he ended up saying "hi!" loudly to everyone in a restaurant in Bourbonnais, and pretty much any of his problems can be solved by clapping at him.  But yesterday my law friends Chris and Lesley came by with their boy Emiliano, who loved my apple sauce so much that he was literally grunting and growling for it.  Amazing.  So that is a tie.

Best sense of humor in a crisis:  This one has to be a tie between my parents.  My dad was making jokes right up to the end, and my mom, sister, and I have had a lot of laughs since then.  You laugh so you don't cry.

Consistently funniest G-Chats:  Another tie: Tom D. and Keith G.!  Here is a snippet from each:

me: if we are bringing our own food and whatnot, we're just going to go to a forest preserve and have a picnic

 Thomas: well I hope Dave enjoys lime disease and being eaten by bears

 me: HAHA

And Keith:

me: NO

  Bud Light LIME

  he brought that shit into my HOUSE, man!

  into my fucking HOUSE!

  where I live!

 Keith: hahahahahahaha

 you sound like a mob boss that was attacked at home

  "IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN"

 "THE BUNNY WAS SO AFRAID OF THE BUD LITE LIME HE POOPED ON THE COUCH"

 me: hahahaha

  dude

  don't joke about poop today

  someone shit their pants in my courtroom

 Keith: awe-some

 me: yeah, goddamnit

  we had to call a cleaning lady to wipe up the smear stains on the court room bench

 Keith: over a traffic ticket or what?

 me: yeah

  she is old and whatever, but I'm telling you, if I get to the age where I'm shitting my pants and I'm unaware of it, just take me out back and kill me with a rock

 Keith: ok, that got a literal laugh out loud

Funniest car ride anywhere:  Brian B., to and from Keith's wedding in Wisconsin.  Possibly the funniest few hours of my entire year.  We covered the election, law school drama, and so much more.  Here's to more travels, Mr. B.

Funniest person that I can't pinpoint why he is funny:  Dave.  I mean, I know why I think he's funny, because we have essentially the same sense of humor.  And he's funny when he's trying to be, like when we watch bad movies or he complains about something or other about his work day.  But he is also funny when he's not trying to be, like when he's really proud of making an omelette Julia Child-style, or when he pouts because I tell him he steals the covers (which he does).  I make him laugh, too, of course, and I have said to him this year that the reason we will last for the rest of our lives isn't anything to do with love, intimacy, or even my cooking - it's that we can simply make each other laugh so consistently and about such strange, strange things.  

I suspect that laughter had something to do with my parents' long marriage, also, and I know that I value humor so highly because my dad was such a funny, funny person.  When I tell a great joke or one-liner, I know he passed this skill on to me, and when I throw my head back in raucous laughter, it reminds me of him.

Here's to more laughter in 2013.

Congratulations, Mr. President!

Well, we did it again - four more years with Barack Obama, and by a bigger margin than many thought would happen.  I will admit that I was nervous yesterday, but Nate Silver and early returns assuaged my fears.

As longtime readers, friends, or family will know, I attended the celebration rally in Grant Park 4 years ago.  As his presidency has continued, through setbacks and achievements, I knew I would vote for him again.  I don't want to necessarily write about why I voted for him, but I would like to express some thoughts that I have had in reading statuses, statements, and comments in the past few weeks.

First, a word about the election itself.  If you expected a landslide for Romney or were never in doubt that he would win, you need to seriously consider expanding your reading materials.  Reading stuff that you already agree with might be comfortable, but it can also keep you ignorant.

Second, a word about liberals.  To some conservatives, "liberal" is a bad word and is used to equate people with communists, socialists, etc.  Most liberals are moderate, just as I believe most conservatives are moderate.  Liberals love their country every bit as much as conservatives.  We didn't vote for Obama because we are lazy, confused, stupid, or evil - we honestly believe he is great for this country.  Even if you disagree with us, grant us that.

Third, a word about conservatives.  Many commentators have already noted voting divides in this country along lines of race and gender.  Someone on ABC said that this is the last election where the Republicans will rely solely on white voters, and I believe that is true.  Many Republicans realized this before the returns came in:

“If I hear anybody say it was because Romney wasn’t conservative enough, I’m going to go nuts,” Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said in a Nov. 5 interview with Politico. “We’re not losing 95 percent of African-Americans and two-thirds of Hispanics and voters under 30 because we’re not being hard-ass enough.”

Conservatives are simply going to have to start caring about issues that are important to minorities and women, and they are going to have to start bending a little if they want to get those votes.  I said to a friend today that if Republicans would just say, "OK, marriage for all couples, and free birth control for everyone.  NOW, let's talk about that f-ing economy!" I truly believe they would have been a much greater force to reckon with in this election, on all fronts.  

It's time to do some serious re-strategizing, and they're going to have to start acting on new policies BEFORE the next presidential election so that the change doesn't just look like empty rhetoric.  And I think ultimately that will be a great change for everyone, liberal and conservative alike.

Congratulations again, Mr. President, and good luck!

To my dad

My dad passed away this week.


There are obviously no words for this, especially when you're talking about a guy who is larger than life, like my dad.  He is the life of every party and has the best taste in art, music, and humor.  There was not a day I spent with him that he did not make me laugh, and that includes the time he was very sick and in the hospital.


I wanted to write a post about the amazing things he was able to accomplish during his time here.  It is almost as if he had a bucket list and was silently checking items off; he did practically everything he ever wanted to do, and I think that is something that most people cannot say.


Dad went to a truly amazing list of concerts back in his day.  Jethro Tull, The Who, Cream - you name it, he probably saw it.  One of the songs on Frank Zappa's live album, "Roxy and Elsewhere," is a concert that he attended.  He brought me to my first concert, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, when I was 9 years old.  And in case anyone is wondering what his favorite song is, given his all-consuming love of music, I can tell you that it is "Magic Bus" off of The Who's "Live at Leeds."


The other thing I realized is that Dad got to own his dream car, and several of them, in fact - late 1960s Camaros.  He had at least one 1967 and one 1968, and one of them was his favorite, with beautiful racing tires and glossy paint.  He owned another convertible Camaro until Michelle and I were kids, and he'd take us for rides in Pilcher Park with the top down.


One of the biggest fixtures in his life, and one of his proudest accomplishments, was being in a bunch of bands, the longest-running of which was, of course, the Orbit Cookies.  He loved being a drummer and tinkering around in the basement with his sound equipment.  Aside from having to pack up his drum kit in his van for all of his shows, he loved playing out.  (And we loved going to see him play.)


My family was big on having a yearly vacation when I was growing up, and we got to see and do some really cool things.  One of the things my dad always wanted to do was go on a hard hat tour of the Hoover Dam, and we did it when I was in high school.  (Then he watched my sister and I butt heads with said hard hats in the parking lot, commenting on how we are so weird, we must be his kids.)


We went camping in Colorado, biking across the Golden Gate bridge, did Maid of the Mists at Niagara Falls, went to Disney World (twice), went fishing in Minnesota (probably his favorite), and a cruise to Alaska where he got to take a train ride on the Scagway rail.  He even got to Europe to visit me when I was studying abroad, and although he had some discomfort with not knowing the language, he was really glad to see Paris, Salzburg, and the salt mines in the Salzkammergut.


Speaking of travel, he also went on a trip to Burning Man with his friend Pete in 2005, after his first bout with leukemia.  I had not even known that he wanted to do that, and he brought some of his artwork out there and saw the craziness.  I'm not sure I want to follow in his footsteps with this one, but I'm glad he got to go, especially with Pete.


A few years ago, my mom surprised him with birthday tickets for a hot air balloon ride, which is another thing he always wanted to do.  He had a blast.


His personal creativity is not limited only to music.  He has a great love for the architecture of Frank Lloyd Wright, and we took him on a bunch of tours, including Taliesin and the Heurtley House last year.  (Some photos from the Taliesin trip are here.)  He has done some really cool metal sculptures and stained glass based on Wright's art glass designs.

He loves modern art and metal sculpture, and he made many "junk" sculpture pieces out of spoons, wires, tools, etc.  He made a scorpion, a dragonfly, two dinosaurs, flowers, that thing from the Led Zeppelin album cover, a sphere of interconnected metal rings, two two-foot dream catchers, and many other geometric designs.  Oh, and some kind of space chicken with molds of his own teeth.  (You can't make this stuff up; my dad is weird.)

The scorpion

I don't want to be self-centered here, but I would like to think that his proudest accomplishment on his "I didn't know I was completing my bucket list" bucket list was having kids.  And not just any kids, but two daughters - who would have thought that my dad would have enjoyed so much estrogen in the house?

My dad can be proud that my sister and I share so many of his values.  We both love music and art (me more than Chelle), we like tinkering and fixing things (Chelle more than me), and we are independent, self-reliant individuals. But he is probably most proud that we both turned out to be so smart and funny.  (Again, not trying to toot my own horn here, but it is true.)

He said all the time that Michelle, Mom, and I (and later Dave) are the funniest people he knows, and that we are his best friends.  He got to see me and Michelle grow up, graduate from college, and he got to walk me down the aisle.  He told us all the time how proud he is of us, and recently he told Dave that even though he was worried, at first, about me marrying a jobless English major, Dave has "turned out all right."  Dave said he is pretty proud of that accolade.


At the bottom of this blog page, I have long displayed the following quote:  "The measure of life is not its span but the use made of it."  Dad was only 57, and most people (myself included) would say that we did not have enough time with him.  But in many ways, we are luckier than it would seem at the moment.  He had an extremely full life and even though he could be grumpy, I believe he was actually a pretty happy person.  As I have already said, he accomplished so much.  Most people with his form of leukemia do not make it to 5 years past diagnosis, but he made it over 7.  And as we learned this week with the tragic loss of Dave's best friend from West Virginia, some people never make it to marriage or having kids.  My dad did it all, and did not leave very much undone or unsaid.


More than the loss of any other person in my life, I feel that my dad is not really gone.  He is still here.  He is in the glass panels of Frank Lloyd Wright homes; he is relaxing by a lake with a fishing pole; he is drumming on his steering wheel; he is belly-laughing about bad science fiction movies and Firesign Theatre; he is tinkering in his garage; he is in the triumphant wails of a really great drum solo.


In the words of Tommy Lee Jones in one of Dad's favorite movies, "Men in Black":

"No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home."

Last day downtown

I have been commuting to downtown Chicago since shortly after I began writing this blog six years ago.  In every season, in every weather, and in good times and bad, I have bought my month passes and dutifully walked miles every day around this fair city.


That time has come to an end, at least for the time being.  I have taken a position in the Development Office of Northwestern University's Evanston campus - a job I could not be more thrilled to have.  And I do love Evanston.  But there's just something about Chicago.

I think I will miss three things the most.  First, I will miss taking the train with Dave every day and doing my Sudoku and crossword puzzles.  


Second, I will miss running into people on the street and being able to attend free social drinking events at DePaul or the Chicago Bar Association.  


And third (and most dire), I will sorely miss my Daley Center farmers' markets.  I know that Palatine and Evanston have markets, but I developed a rapport and familiarity with the vendors at the Daley Center, and I will miss them.  (Of course, I can always send Dave to buy peaches for me...  And where else can I find Cox's Orange Pippin apples?!)


Now I think I will iterate some stories from these crazy years:


The first time the Drum Bum yelled "We got DePaul in the house!" when he saw me approaching.


The time that the "peach people" told me that they call me "the peach lady."


Cupcakes with Judge McGing.


The time the "Happy Wednesday!" bum walked with me on Madison Street and called me "sunshine," all while asking me what my problem was and why I wouldn't give him any money.


Drinks with Chad during law school, missing about five trains, and forgetting to tell Dave that I missed the trains (so Dave went to the station to pick me up anyway).


Oral arguments at the Appellate Court.


Drinks at Sonnenschein in the Sears Tower.


Coogan's with Judge Rogers.


Studying for the bar exam in Millennium Park.


Monthly lunches with Diane.


Untold numbers of people getting hit by trains and screwing up my commute.


The time there was a bomb threat at the Daley Center and hiding out in a law friend's firm until it blew over.


Interviewing at law firms in virtually every building in the Loop, and getting rejected from all of them (except for my clerkship at Peck Bloom).

Epic snowstorm during first year of law school that almost prevented me from turning in a legal writing final.


The time I bought 20 lb. of tomatoes from the Federal Plaza farmers' market and lugging them around town all day.


The after-finals party, first semester of first year of law school.


Graduation at the Civic Opera House.


Taking the bar exam at Loyola Law School near Watertower Place.


Burgers at Epic Burger and Hackney's.


Mid-term drinks during first year of law school with a certain unnamed professor at DePaul who told us that he could "drink us all under the table" because he is "Jewish and deviant."


The Blackhawks rally in 2010, which I watched from the 11th floor of the Daley Center.


Random weirdos on the Metra, including a guy who shouted "Shut the f**k up, lady!" to someone on her cell phone, as well as a guy having an argument with his wife:  "Not now, I'm on the train...  GodDAMNIT, Becky!"


Monthly meetings with my lawyer mentor circle, where I learned a lot about the kind of work I want to be doing as a lawyer (and more specifically, the kind I don't ever want to do).

I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot, but this is a pretty good sample of my experiences.  (And looking back, I'm realizing that I should probably take Dave's advice and not engage with bums so directly...)